something to think about...

I was browsing thru all the literaries that was sent to us by our EIC here in our school. Im one of our school's magazine layout artist...i happened to see and read this LITERARY written by a Marian codename FALLENSAINT.

Here's the literary...try and read it somehow touched me.

PS: a GUY wrote this literary..so HELLO to the guys out there. (haha)

BLANK NIGHT SKY
Fallensaint

I’ve lost track of time while staring at this blank night sky for hours. Then suddenly, a wave of thought occurred in me. “What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t see clearly!” Everything went blurred. I closed my eyes and I felt a drop of liquid in my hands. I opened my eyes to see if it’s raining. It isn’t. “God. Am I really this stupid? Not even realizing that I’m already crying over spilled milk…”

If I haven’t done these crazy things to her, I will not be spending my night like this. If I haven’t been the most stupid and greediest person alive, I will not be spending my night like this. If I only shut my mouth before it released unfathomable words, I will not be spending my night like this. If I could just lover her like the way she loves me, she will not be spending a worse night than this.

When will my stupidity ever end? Is there anything that I’ve done right? Or more than that, is there anything left for me to do it right? I keep on telling her that I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done. I know that it is not even good enough to be called as “the right thing”, but it’s the most of what I can do. I want her to be better. I want her to heal. I want her to find the remedy for the sickness I’ve cost her. ‘Cause it’s piercing my heart to see that she’s crying and it breaks my heart completely when I see her crying because of me. I don’t want to see her that way. But I can’t even comfort her. ‘Cause if I do, I will just make the fire bigger. So that’s it. That’s the only thing I can do. To want and hope that someday, she’ll be as good as her former self. To hope that someday, she’ll find a better man. Someone who’ll never make her cry and love her unlike what I did. Though I’m not sure I want that to happen. Still, I hope it will. Because that’s the only way left in this. For her to forget me and be happy. I can’t stand hurting her again. I can’t.

Every sleepless night that passes my life, I’m wishing that I can take away all things back. I’m wishing that a magic rewind button exists right in front of me and I’ll gladly push it. ‘Cause I don’t want to lose her. All my memories with her are priceless. I want to add more happy memories with her. So why did I let her go if I love her? I’m not the right man for her. She deserves someone better and since the world begun, I’m a loser. That’s why I can’t do anything but to stare at this blank night sky for hours.

Nice noh? I wasn't aware that there are GUYS who realizes their fault/s. It's a good thing this guy tries to cope up and express his insights and feelings thru writing. Well...I just hope when the layout artists staff (with me of course =) ) finishes this EDITING thingy---the girl would come to know how this guy loves/loved her. =)

Something to think about.