sunday..

yesterday, i went to church..on my way i was wearing a sad face..i had no expression at all...due to being single AGAIN...and pain it caused me...

When i got there..It was praise and worship time..(im a born again christian)
the lyrics really hit me bullseye...i felt how much i needed God's strength in me...since im too weak aleady...and like my mentor friend said..im becoming vulnerable...

Yesterday nyt..a friend called me, he asked if he cn court me. I refused..and prankly told him "sorry..im not ready yet. I still love him". That time I knew i hurt his feelings...but he got nothing to do. He just respected my decision and said he would wait.....

I actually don't know if i'm being selfish...Out of all the guys who're willing to take cre of me...I chose HIM---the guy who didnt appreciate the effort i exerted in our relationship just to NOT make things complicated..

Im being too emotional i know. Yet i don't know if all hopes for me are GONE.

im simply.................broken
smiling due to pain
hyper due to loneliness

right now..
What you see in me..what expression/feelings you see in me.....are all lies

T_T